notpredictable | Ϟ11th Plan -> audio/video -> commentlog

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Ϟ11th Plan -> audio/video -> commentlog | 4th Wall

[Okay so - there's something strange going on here. Very strange. He'd left his room to grab a few things and...well.]

Ah - Keep is a tad...busy today, isn't it?

[Hoping against hope for Minion....]

Has anyone seen a fish in a gorilla suit? If so - notify me. Immediately.

[He's going to be searching the grounds. Please bother him.]

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Don't be ridiculous, of course I'm not--

[Pause, stare. The lean goes unremarked because -- honestly? Their personal bubbles have never been sacred.

Especially hers.]

Getaway?! Please - I could come up with something far more fantastic than this.

[Not joking? For a horrible moment her throat tightens and her stomach clenches and then--

...Then he's back to being the Megamind she knows. Arrogant, big-headed and with the side-effect of being so sweet when he wants to.

Roxanne laughs and wraps her arms around him, expertly avoiding his spikes. She's had enough practice. Then, just to top it off, she kisses him, taking her time about it. Girl knows how to lock lips.]

Oh, really? Then what would your plan be to sweep me off my feet?

[Okay, Roxanne just took the victim/kidnap relationship to a whole new level.

He just -- freezes. He doesn't even know where to begin with this, because it is just so surreal that it cannot even feasibly be happening.

Roxanne hates him. She's -- always been adamant about her disdain. It's not as if she had ever displayed anything other than that disdain, as a matter of fact -- unless one included mockery in that, and if that was to be ecounted, then -- well. Fine.

Mockery and disdain.

Not affection. Never affection.

And certainly not kisses. Kisses that, as far as he was concerned, rightly belonged to someone else.

When he regains his wits (and, okay -- after returning it briefly, because damn -- lifelong dream, anyone?) He takes her firmly by the shoulders, and gently presses her back and away.]

Miss Ritchi. I believe you've hit your head. Are you all right? How many fingers am I holding up?

[Two. And, for the record? He's a good kisser, thank you Ryn.]

I -- yes.

Nevertheless. I will still be on the lookout for anyone that sounds remotely as if they might be from your home.

I'll get right on--

Of course I'm here, sir. Why wouldn't I--

[Oh! He's got it now.]

Very good, sir! You tricked me out of my hiding spot with clever words. I've lost this game of Hide-and-Sneak unfair and square.

[This must be what they had been playing??]

Why, yes, that's me. I'm his Minion and--

[This is not the sound of Roxanne.]

I'm afraid I can't place your voice...

[OH, NO. HAS MEGAMIND BEEN KIDNAPPING DAMSELS WITHOUT HIM.]

Well, of course -- I always win, and--

[Pause.]

No! No no no, Minion--! This isn't a game, my aquatic sycophant! It's -- quite real!

I can't say I recognise your voice. Do you moonlight as a damsel-in-distress?

[Someone that Megamind would kidnap on the side? That hurts him in his little Miniony heart.]

You mean that you didn't create foreboding castle grounds to use in some dastardly plot to foil your archnemesis and were instead kidnapped here in a dramatic reversal of roles?

[Ryn raises an eyebrow at all that, vaguely amused.]

You wouldn't be recognizing me, we've never met. I've heard good things about you, though.

[She can't help but snort slightly at that last part.]

Can't say I'm much of a damsel-in-distress, no. Or at least I wasn't, before I found myself here.

Thank you, Megamind.

[There's something almost like soft sincerity in her tone for a moment, then she chuckles slightly and smirks.]

If you hear anyone talking about the sins, point them in my direction?

No -- of course not! Would I do something like this?

Yes. You -- have my word.

Oh, so you're the replacement damsel!

[Sudden understanding! This makes him feel better on the matter of a two-timing Megamind.]

Welcome to our evil lair!

Well, it's not really an evil lair yet, but it's just a matter of time before he concocts something dastardly to bless it in the name of evil heaven.

Don't worry if you're new to this. All you have to do is scream whenever he threatens you and you'll fit right in. Let me just go get the rope...

Then what did you do, sir? I'm afraid I just can't penetrate the dark vortex of evil that you've crafted here.

[He says it with the tone of admiration, that jesting "good job, buddy!" voice that says he's 100% behind you!]

Why would a fish be in a gorilla suit?

[She's trying hard not to grin throughout this, but she's not sure how successful she's being.]

Megamind was right. You really are a damn fine minion.

[Ryn's debating making some sort of snarky comment about pinpointing the exact type of scream, when his earlier comment fully sinks in.]

Replacement? For whom?

[Minion is happy to explain the situation as part of the D-I-D orientation package.]

Miss Ritchi. She has a busy schedule and sometimes can't make the commitment to being a damsel-in-distress, but Megamind tries to accommodate her. You know how it goes... Crashing news conferences, interrupting major ceremonial dedications... But, sometimes you just can't kidnap the right girl at the right time. That's where you come in!

[A pause.]

Oh, but don't worry about playing second fiddle! Your distress is very important to us. While you are in our care, we will make sure to expose you to the highest quality terrors.

[Yup. He is a good Minion, isn't he? The best that planetary destruction could assign!]

Hold on a second!

Megamind said... I was a good Minion?

[BRB, happily puffing up to the confines of his tank.]

[Wolf totally hasn't been keeping an eye on your journal, Megamind. Nope, not at all. She's just... bored! Yes, bored, and totally only here to ask you a stupid, silly question-]

Hey, uh, Megamind, what type of chocolate d'you prefer? If any? Just, ah, trying to figure out what type to... make. For, uh... yeah. No reason.

Oh, and, uh, good luck with the tournament.

[GUH WTF IS THIS SHIT.]

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Ϟ11th Plan -> audio/video -> commentlog | 4th Wall

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[Audio]

[video] 1/?

[video] 2/? | GETTING IT RIGHT

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[video] 5/5

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[Audio] 2/?

[Audio] 3/4

[video] /REACHES FOR

[Audio] 4/4

[video] /DRAMATIC FINNY FLAILING (edit, come baaaaaack)

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[video] WHO ARE YOU I MUST KNOW

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[video] I AM THE DARKNESS THAT SWIMS IN THE NIGHT

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